Change Matters

How Do You Feel About Yourself?

Your present sense of self forms the centre of your personality and determines the uses you make of your limitless capacity as a human being. It is not genes which determine your human effectiveness but your self-esteem. The level of self-esteem you emerge with from your childhood determines your level of fulfillment in adult life.

However, you are not stuck with the self-esteem legacy from childhood and once you develop awareness of your self-esteem level you can systematically set about changing it, if that is what you want.

By and large people may be described as having one of three levels of self-esteem: low, middle or high. Feeling ‘low’ is not the same as having low self-esteem. There are many reasons for feeling low in this world – but the person with high self-esteem who feels low can admit to it, and will often try and do something about it. However, a person with low self-esteem will not admit to vulnerability as this would mean risking rejection.

The screen, the front, the face or the cover-up is the all-important protection for the person with middle to low self-esteem; the lower the person’s self-esteem, the more extreme the masks presented to the world.

DOWNLOAD AND PRINT THIS QUIZ

Quiz: How Do You Feel About Yourself?

Here are three boxes that indicate low, middle and high self-esteem. Please feel free to tick off whatever applies to you in each box.

INDICATORS OF LOW (HIGHLY PROTECTIVE) SELF-ESTEEM

YES

LOW INDICATOR OF SELF-ESTEEM

YES

LOW INDICATOR OF SELF-ESTEEM

Highly dependent

Bottles up feelings or can be dangerously aggressive and violent

Pessimistic and fatalistic

Neglectful of physical welfare

No sense of ‘good’ about self

Rejecting of self

Condemning of self

Possessive of others

Extreme perfectionist

Constant need for
reassurance

‘Drop-out’

Manipulative of others

Extremely fearful in new situations

Feelings easily hurt

Highly critical of all aspects of self

Highly sensitive to criticism

Believes everybody else is better off

Engages in protective communication e.g.
hostile silences, sulking, sarcasm, cynicism, blaming and ridiculing

Deep inferiority complex or superiority complex

Fears change

Lonely and isolated

Cannot take compliments or positive feedback

Unable to form close and deep emotional relationships

Continually unhappy

Sees oneself as unlovable

Troubled relationships with
others

Sometimes suicidal

Worrier

Rigid and inflexible

Highly prone to anxiety and depression

Highly blaming of others or total
denial of vulnerabilities

Moody

Feels different from all others

Ashamed of self

Feels guilt about pleasure for self

Feels life is not worth living

Fears rejection

Displays over involvement or under involvement in other people’s lives

Fearful of mistakes and failures

Constantly trying to prove self

Indecisive

Lives according to rules of ‘should’, ‘should not’, ‘have to’, and ‘ought to’

If the above ‘Yes’s'  are making your life totally unmanageable, and if you live in the Cape Town area and are willing to change then Contact Us.


MIDDLE INDICATORS OF SELF-ESTEEM

YES

MIDDLE INDICATOR OF SELF-ESTEEM

YES

MIDDLE INDICATOR OF SELF-ESTEEM

Dependent

Blaming others

Approval-seeker

Denial of problems

People-pleaser

Insecure in relationships

Difficulty in seeking support, help, advice etc.

Compares oneself with others

Cautious and unadventurous

Jealous of others’ success, possessions etc.

Fearful of new situations

Critical of self and others

Can take some criticism

Some neglect of physical welfare

Moderate degree of optimism

Aggressive or passive

Threatened by opposition

Intolerant of frustration

Expressive of some feelings

Compliant or rigid

Conformist

Lives in the future

Doubts about various aspects of self:
physical, intellectual, social etc.

Very ambitious

Unsure

Hostile sense of humour

General feeing of dissatisfaction

Perfectionist

Tendencies to worry and anxiety

Low autonomy

If the above ‘Yes’s'  are making your life uncomfortable, and if you live in the Cape Town area and are willing to change then Contact Us.

INDICATORS OF HIGH (MINIMALLY PROTECTIVE) SELF-ESTEEM

YES

INDICATORS OF HIGH SELF-ESTEEM

YES

INDICATORS OF HIGH SELF-ESTEEM

Independent

Realistic awareness of strengths and weaknesses

Open and spontaneous

Sees weaknesses as opportunities for developing strengths

Optimistic, excited and challenged by life

Problem-solver

Flexible

Expressive of all feelings

Engages in clear and direct communication

Resistant to conformity

Emotionally close to a few significant others

Seeks support, advice, help, comfort when needed

Accepting of self and others

Wholehearted involvement in all aspects of life

Respects and values others’ differences

Trusts and values self

Listens to others

Caring of others

Can take criticism and feedback

Positively firm with self and others who attempt
to impose artificial values

Tolerant of frustrations

Cares for environment

Physically healthy

Spiritual

Emotionally mature

Needs privacy

Encouraging of self and others

You are a rare breed of person who has a quiet acceptance of self and others - may you continue to be who you are and keep on shining.

FREE RESOURCES

 

 

 Change Matters PresentsThe Path of the Heart Series - for online - Website Thumbnail

CELEBRATE  LOVE  PEACE

CELEBRATE   LOVE   PEACE

 


 2 Wise Women who offer the Service of Celebrations and Ritual

 
click here for more info
 

 

Change Matters Presents

Therapy pic4

Therapy for Children with Dr Jana Lazarus

click here for more info

Contact 

logo

This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.  or SMS Miranda on Cell: 082 630 2371